Saturday, September 24, 2011

a whole new girl!

I am less than 48 hours away from one of the biggest days of my life. I have so many emotions running through my body and mind but not one of them is telling me no. Happiness is the one that most stands out. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and she told me after the surgery I should blog, take pictures and maybe start a book. I thought that was one of the best ideas I had ever heard. Who doesn't like to know other peoples business and especially as juicy as this will be. It has been a really long fight for this surgery and I am so PUMPED I can barely contain myself.

If you keep up with my blog or maybe have read the previous post about the surgery I wasn't going to do it. Looking back who am I kidding? Yes, who wouldn't love to do it on their own? But at the same time the opportunity is here, why wouldn't I grab it and RUN...ha ha okay I don't do that so.... take it and split? Does that make sense? Ah, who knows...you catch my drift. I was reminded I'm an adult if I want to change my mind and have it done, no one can judge me.

I'm not going to lie, how weird it is going to be. I have always and so has everyone else known me as this, who I am now. A stocky, thick girl. But you know? Everyone will learn to know me as healthy and a little less stocky. It is going to bring major change for the good, I know it is not always going to be easy. But what life changing thing is?

This of course has been the topic of most conversations with those I share the information with. I was chatting with my roommate about all the things I can't wait to do that I think....no I know most people take for granted. It is very personal but I think if you read my blog I tend to get pretty personal. So you want to know the things I can't wait to do? The things that I know people take for granted? Okay...you asked here it goes....
I can't wait to look in the mirror and see an elbow and a knee cap. Those things have been hidden for years!!!
I can't to buy a watch and not have to buy extra links.
I can't wait to wear a regular pair of cowboy boots and not have them cutting my legs in half.
I can't wait to be able to shop ANYWHERE I want.
I can't wait to sky dive without having to pay the extra money because of my weight.
You know society is cruel and we all know there is an image that a woman is told she has to be. I DO NOT agree with what people think a woman should look like, if you know me at all you would know I go with the inside and the heart . BUT I would be a liar if I told you I wasn't excited about maybe being noticed a little more. Not just because of my personality...and don't get me wrong I love that I never meet a stranger and can talk to anyone but it will be nice to be noticed more. I don't think I am wrong in thinking that in fact I know I'm not.
I can't wait to not be nervous walking in...anywhere
I can't wait to not be paranoid every time some laughs around me that they are saying something about me
and you know? I just can't wait to see myself like everyone else sees me.

Ahh...I just can't wait.

My life is just now about to start and I can't wait to see what the next 60 or so years has in store for me!

I will be sure to post pictures and write how I feel!

XOXO
-J

3 comments:

  1. I am so excited for you!!! YOU GO GIRL!!! Cant wait to hear more!!

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  2. Jana I am excited! I told Kenard to remind me to call you yesterday after church.. but we forgot. I don't know what time your surgery is but I hope to hear from you when you are well enough to talk. I love you and can't wait to watch this journey (through this blog since I can't see you..:(..) ...:) I love you to pieces and can't wait to talk to you.

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  3. Jana, jana, jana. I love you and I'm proud of you. Keep your pretty lil head up. This is a lifestyle change and the start of an amazing journey. Being happy is one of the most important things in life.. but being healthy, most importantly, will extend that happiness as well as your life. Kudos to you!

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